Christie Brinkley Is A Big Pain In The Ass!

ALLEGEDLY!!!  I mean, I’m just going to have to assume that she’s crazy or leaves the toilet seat up or something.  To me, she’ll always be Mrs. Billy Joel.  I’ll always have Joel’s “Innocent Man” album to back me up.  All those tunes about Christie Lee?  That’s some serious love and devotion, my friends.  But no – Christie-baby is involved in divorcing husband number 4.  This logically leads me to the conclusion that she is a complete bitch-on-wheels to be around.  How can you be married to the gal that coined the title “super model” and not find a way to be satisfied? 

Peter Cook is this nimrod’s name and he’s an architect.  I mention his name in order to give him as much notoriety for being a complete stain as my little blog can muster.  What an idiot this Peter Cook is.  Peter Cook is a total jackass.  Peter Cook needs a shot in the crank.  Peter Cook should go pound sand.  Peter Cook….ahhh, you get the picture, unlike Peter Cook who is a supreme douche bag.  Peter Cook?  That guy’s an idiot.  I don’t know which part of the Peter Cook story makes me angrier – the fact that he paid off his teenage mistress to the tune of $300,000 to keep their affair a secret or the fact that HE HAD A FRIGGIN’ TEENAGE MISTRESS.  You are married to the numero uno supermodel of all time and you are off looking for strange?  What the hell is wrong with you, man?  Plus, Peter Cook allegedly had a $3,000 a month internet pornography habit.  Hello?  Supermodel?  Yeah, like the most gorgeous woman in the world?  Yeah, she’s in the next room while you’re jackin’ it to an internet porn site.  What a tool Peter Cook is!  Or maybe not.  Here’s my theory.  I’m not sure if Billy Joel was husband number one or not – but for whatever reason HE couldn’t make it work with Christie and then somewhere down the line husbands 2 and 3 threw up their hands and packed it in and now we find out that Peter Cook, husband numero quatro, is racking up hundreds of thousands of bucks to get his jolllies.  All I can imagine is that Ms. Brinkley is a cold fish.  There has to be something very wrong with her mentally.  Because physically – she is stunning.  Plus, she’s 54 years old and still manages to be stunning.  Incidentally – I had to make a stop at Wikipedia for that particular nugget of information and just to clarify – Billy Joel was husband number 2.  Then I read a little further down that Christie is a well known supporter of PETA and has spoken out for PETA against Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus.  There you have cold hard evidence that she’s a nut job.  She’s aligned herself with a psycho-fringe group (PETA) and despite being drop-dead gorgeous, her four past husbands can’t stand to be around her psycho-babble.  She’s a fu**in’ nut!  I am frightened of her psychiatry bill.  There you have it.  Open and shut case.  Black and white.  Just as plain as day!  The defense rests!  Christine Brinkley is a big, giant, stunningly gorgeous pain in the ass!

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