American Idol Finale – Donna of the Dead!

Holy Cheetos – where to start? Last nights American Idol finale was loaded with all kinds of cheese and weirdness that I can’t even BEGIN to tackle. And frankly, it’s overdone. If you search for blogs or opinions or commentary on it today you’ll see that everyone in the universe is weighing in – each trying to add their particular spin or insight into the hot mess that was last nights show. And here’s some more…

The AI final last night was simply dripping with the goo of awesomeness. It had it all from schlocky endorsements to unfunny comedy (I’m talking to you Kimmel) to celeb guest appearances and more. It just kept on giving and giving. Train wreck after glorious train wreck. The USC marching band and Archuleta in his underwear to an amazingly lifelike Bryan Adams appearance. Idol indeed Gave Back last night and then some. That was two damned entertaining hours. I applaud ye Idol producers.

Certainly there is plenty of total recap out there to satisfy – so, instead, I’ll focus in on two aspects that I found to be particularly annoying/shocking/amusing. I’ll begin with the obvious – What the hell has happened to Donna Summer? They had the top girls do a medley of Summer Disco Faves and towards the end they rolled out the corpse of Donna Summer. Two prop-dancers actually had to spot her down a staircase of a half a dozen stairs. It’s like she and Rick James really did some crazy hard living and mountains of blow back in the day. It killed Rick James, but Donna Summer managed to survive. She was like Disco Zombie – must eat brainnnnnnsssssss!!!!! Scary.

 My other fave moment was during the very same Donna Of The Dead segment – before they rolled the Diva of Death out. They had the final girls all dolled up in their sassy disco red and had choreographed a few steps for them to do whilst they belted out the 1970’s era classics. For many, they laced into it like it was their last gasp of spotlight time. 14:57, 14:58, 14:59 annnnnnnddddddddd….done. in fact, they all kind of gave off that vibe – really giving it their all. Save for one. Ms. Amanda Obermyer. It wasn’t that she could have cared less. A little apathy goes a long way with me – it’s a lifestyle choice, really. No, no – Ms. Obermyer – who still hasn’t had the good sense to color up and lose the skunk hair do – she was downright pissed off to be contractually obligated to be there. And don’t even play like this is some wild, cooked-up theory – it’s a fact! She plodded across that stage like a pitbull with a toothache. At one point the girls pranced out into the audience a bit. On the return trip to the stage – we got a close up of Ms. Obermyer snarling at the camera while she pushed some audience member out of her way. I actually had to rewind to watch her stellar, angry performance twice – it was that shockingly awesome!

Oh yeah – and David Cook is a big fat winner. Who cares? Good for him, I suppose. Assuming they handle him correctly and don’t drop the ball like they did with Taylor Hicks – he ought to at least be able to achieve Daughtry level fame and fortune. As for Archuleta – I predict a Clay Aiken-esque level of mediocrity for him.


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