Mookie’s Thoughts – Part 1

“I think you can measure a man’s girth by the space between his back pockets.”

“People say you are the sum of your thoughts.  But I think you are actually the difference of your thoughts, i.e., take your thoughts, subtract those which you borrow from others, and the remainder is you.  I know–turns out I mostly consist of phone numbers, senseless limericks and the incorrect lyrics to popular songs.”

“If it were up to me, there would be no hunger in the world.”

“Frankly, I don’t care how much I weigh, I just want my neck to stop jiggling when I walk.”

“You know that old saying, ‘I pitied the man without shoes until I saw the man without feet’?  I didn’t think so; but not having feet would suck, right?”

“I think the best titles for record albums are to combine opposite concepts, like ‘Idiosyncratic Routine’ or ‘Fleshy Skeleton’ or ‘The Poverty of Opulence’ or ‘Clarity of a Twisted Mind'”

“I’d kill for a Dreamsicle.”

“The Zen philosoper Basha once said, ‘A flute with no holes is not a flute; and a donut with no holes is a Danish.’  Funny guy.”

“I love rainy days and Mondays; and particularly rainy Mondays.”

“Though neither is particularly appealing, I think I prefer paisleys instead of stripes.”

“At what point did the Germans start looking at Hitler and saying, ‘This guy. . . . what’s with this guy?  Something about this guy’s not right.”

“Did I go to Wendy’s twice yesterday?”


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